Well crap. Looks like I can't use my old Steam account. It's been over a year since I logged into it, and I forgot my password. I've now gone through the password reset process about 12 times. I have the account name right, because I'm receiving the emails instructing me how to change the password. It gives me a security code, but it also says I have to answer a "secret question" that I guess I filled out when I signed up. Unfortunately, that question was "who was your childhood hero?"

What the hell? I have do idea what I entered for that, and I've tried everything I can think of, from parents to superheros, but nothing works. And I guess I'd have to enter it exactly right or it wouldn't register properly. What a stupid system. I really don't want to make a new account name...