Let's get one thing straight, right off the bat. I am a completely ignorant Luddite when it comes to cell phones. Telephobic would be a good word to describe me.

OK, SWMBO tells me I have to have a cell phone. I want something as completely opposite from an iPhone as possible. I don't want a camera. I don't want internet access. I don't want call forwarding. I don't want games. I don't want fancy ringtones. I don't want three layers of sub-menus for features I will never use.

All I want is a device I can carry around that will ring sometimes and let me talk to whoever called me, and maybe once in a great while let me dial out and talk to someone else. Based on past experience, my cell phone usage will average less than five minutes a month.

I do need a cell phone that will work in the San Francisco area even in a weak signal area (inside a metal building, for example) and that will work in Mexico in the Lake Chapala region (about 30 miles south of Guadalajara.)

The research I have done so far has been like when I was first learning Unix: everything I learn serves only to widen the horizons of my ignorance. There are probably a thousand different phones out there, with prices ranging from free to nearly $1000. The terminology is unfamiliar, I'm told I need GSM whatever that is. And apparently choosing a phone is just the tip of the iceberg. The real fun comes with choosing a service provider, and then after that choosing a plan, do I go pre-paid, some two-year contract, what? Do I buy an unlocked phone and then shop for a provider? Do I just walk into the local AT&T office and throw myself on their mercy? What about 850 vs 1900 MHz or do I need to worry about that? SWMBO's cell phone worked OK in Mexico, but when she got the bill the charges were absolutely staggering, I think something in excess of $10 per minute when it was all added up.

It will be about a year before I need to address the Mexico thing, so for now I'm just looking for an interim solution.

What do I do?

tanstaafl.