Aha! I wasn't hallucinating. Look here. It's the second bullet point (after the little movie quits): $20 every three months. Of course, nowhere that I can find do they actually offer that plan...

I am now the proud owner of my very own TracFone, complete with 150 days service and 80 whole minutes. Believe it or not, I probably won't use all those minutes in five months!

I decided not to keep the old number -- too many hoops to jump through since my old number had an Alaskan area code, and they said it would take up to 14 days to activate and then all my calls would be roaming. Now I have to make an appointment at the tattoo parlor to have the new number put onto the inside of my eyelids so all I have to do is close my eyes and stare up at a bright light...

I even went off the deep end and spent serious dollars and upgraded to the high price phone -- $19.99 instead of $14.99. Motorola W260g. Not very many bells and whistles, and the instruction book is only 35 pages, much of which is pictures. Give me a few months to study it and I'll have it pretty much figured out.

Thanks everybody for the suggestions and help.

tanstaafl.