I would assume the two-finger right click thing is something the driver handles and not something the hardware interprets? If so, what's the chances of that working while running Windows?

The fan cycling on and off is totally unacceptable and would drive me insane (I got rid of a Vaio R505 for the same reason). A Macbook can't even be considered until that's fixed. I will continue to endure with my beautiful, Samsung-designed, X200 that has giving me nothing but perfectly silent service for the past 3+ years.