That would have to be the American version then.
No offense to the colonies, but...
In England, farms do not produce 'produce', they are crops
or nobody would 'dove' anywhere, they would dive.
or the use of the " ' " character would not be optional and people would understand the use of "too" instead of "to".
English Muffins and French Fries are both american inventions, as is eggplant (instead of aubergine) and hamburger, mind you, we don't stand in line, we queue

But other than that, english is a way screwed up language, I mean who the heck came up with yacht.
I suppose that is the down side to taking over half the world at one time or another and bastardising the local language and incorporating it. That and the fact that you can blame almost all of the the world problems on the english!!!
Look at Cyprus, Ireland, India/Pakistan, Zimbabwe, Australia, USA and the Commonwealth to name a few.
After co-opting so many languages into english, then having it hijacked by a larger country, maybe we should just rename english to something that reflects its screwed up ability to be universally used and abused at the same time!