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But the fact that they feel the need to point out that they gave $5 for a magnet (instead of, say, donating it to the VFW or VA Hospitals or whatever) is an act of claimed superiority

I have 5 of the magnets on my van and I don't feel superior over anyone. I have always been a supporter of the POW/MIA movement since the Vietnam War and wore 2 bracelets and kept in touch with the families for many years, one soldier came home a few years later and the other was never found. If it makes someone feel like they are helping in some small way, then WTF, what harm is there.

I also had a bumper sticker at one time that read "The more I see of men, the more I love my cat"