Plus, I have a hard time saying "Hey, man 'Hotel California' ROCKS!" [add devil-horn hands and stuck-out tongue]

I have a great musician joke that only works visually because it requires you do the devil-horn-hands thing. So it won't "work" here in print. But I'll print it here and then the next time you tell it "in person" you'll get a good laugh:

Q: How many death-metal guitarists does it take to put in a light bulb?

A: None, because DARKNESS RULES!!!! [do the devil-horn hands on the last bit and make sure to say it like a teenage metal fan would say it.]