Ahhh... the enlightened have finally joined us, then. Pay attention at the back!

I'd really love to know what you would define as a computer, then - Linux, connectivity and hard disks not good enough for you? Or would you prefer that it has elastic bands and a whirly propellor as well?

Does your Wonderful Aiwa and Kenwood MP3 allow you to connect to the internet then? Yes? I'd better go down to the shops right now, buy at least three, throw out all these expensive workstations I have here (who needs Solaris when you have an Aiwa MP3?) and just use the Kenwood instead. And I can't believe it - I must be the only person on the planet without a CD-R drive. How embarrasssing! How will I hold my head up in front of the neighbours each morning!!!!!

Slap forehead Naughty brain! Naughty brain! punctuated by repeated slaps to head DON'T BUY EMPEG YOUR IDJIT DON'T BUY EMPEG YOUR IDJIT brain oozes out of side of head due to repeated percussive impact.

There, that taught you, didn't it?