You're not going to convince me that the existing/available Android tablets that I've seen/touched aren't shit. Every single one I've ever seen or read about leave my jaw hitting the floor as to how absolutely garbage they are (or "must be" in the case of the ones I've only read about).

That said, you don't need to convince me, because I'm not looking for something for myself. I've already got someone that's interested specifically in an Android product, I just need to help them decide which one. They already know/feel the iPad rules the tablet space, but they want what they want.

So can you mention any of these unicorn-powered products by name?

So far you've mentioned how some Android product matches the iPad in all these areas and is even better on price, so I'm really eager at this point to find out what it is, because I've certainly never seen or heard about it. But, don't break any NDAs if it's something still in development.