"Radio shack. You've got questions. We've got blank stares."

Oh, they're much more than mere morons. At least, the UK branch of Radio Shack (Tandy), while it existed, had some of the stupidest people I've ever seen. These guys would have been out of their depth if asked to stand up.

The best example of this was a few years back when I was in the local Tandy shop with a friend, and asked to look at a 5 inch LCD monitor that was on special. It took 6 C cells, and when I asked to see it working they had to put some in. The more experienced of the two guys behind the till told the new guy to help me. He removed the thing from the display case, turned it over and over in his hands for about a minute, and finally found the prominently labelled hatch on the back where that batteries went.

Another minute or so of fumbling, and he had managed to break the clip that held the door shut and remove it, exposing the battery compartment. At this point he stared around the shop helplessly, like a sheep asked to explain differential calculus. His superior idiot pointed him gently at the small box of test batteries, and the guy then took another couple of minutes trying several different sizes until he found some that fitted. He of course managed to get them in backwards. My friend Jon and I were by this time going red trying not to laugh.

A few moment of poking power buttons failed to elicit any signs of life, and of course no one else was going to point out where he had gone wrong. This was far too funny to interrupt. Anyway, after a while, and a short discussion between both drones, our one got the idea to measure the battery voltage with a multimeter.

He removed the batteries, took one over to the end of the counter where the test meter was, and fiddled with it for a while until he got it more or less on the correct setting. He then, and I swear this is true, proceeded to put both test probes on the same end of the C cell he was holding! Jon and I almost had strokes on the spot trying not to collapse in hysterical fits of laughter.

After a few seconds, I managed to get control of myself enough to gasp out that he had to measure both ends, then simply couldn't believe it when he solemnly turned the battery over and put both probes on the other end.

Anyway, this farce went on for a few more minutes, until eventually he made the thing work. I looked at it, decided it wasn't what I wanted, thanked the fellow, and left. As soon as we were a safe distance away, Jon and I simply collapsed in laughter for nearly ten minutes. It was some of the best live entertainment I've ever seen

pca