Am I reading you wrong, or does your gripe boil down to the fact that UPS ground isn't faster than Amazon Prime's 2-day shipping? That doesn't seem like much of a mystery to me. You (and I) are paying $79 a year for the 2-day option (and the cheap overnight option.) If we use Amazon enough (I know I do -- my dog is on a first name basis with the UPS guy at this point) the $79 amortizes out to a very small cost per order for a shipping upgrade that chops a day or three off the shipping time. It also provides Amazon with extra business they might not have gotten. I don't think this has anything to do with wizardry on Amazon's part. You chose a cheap and slow shipping option at Monoprice, so you got cheap and slow shipping.