Care to elaborate, because I am not following your argument.

The purpose of the first amendment was to restrict what government could do to religion. Government did not have the power to tell one religion is was wrong and another it was right. This protects the church from government control. If the state were to enforce one relgion, it would not be the church controlling the state, but the state controlling the religion.

Having the goverment say marriage means what the Christians want it to mean goes against everything this country was founded on like tolerance and freedom

I haven't said that I think the government should say marriage means what Christians say it means. I've merely said that it is frustrating when the concept is defined differently by the government than what the church has defined it as. But in this country, the people rule (not the church), ans so marraige means what the people of the country say it means, not the church. As Bitt said and I tried to point out, separation of church and state is tangental to the issue of same-sex marriage. I think religion is involved in the discussion because it is an aspect of the church that Christians hold very stronly to, but that doesn't mean I think Christians should always get their way about things.